Dating

I am so glad I'm not seeking a spouse anymore. I never liked dating anyway. In high school I dated just one girl for over three years. After we broke up I pulled myself out of the dumps and asked the prettiest girl in my class for a date. I didn't do it very good. The date never materialized.

Then I met a girl at work in college. We married. Almost 10 years later I found myself looking for a date again. Actually, I wasn't looking but my friends were. There was a blind date that went OK but didn't result in a second date. There was the movie with the girl at work. And the movie with the girl from high school. I really didn't have my heart in it.

God says it is not good for a man to be alone. There are implications on many fronts in this. One is that a man needs companionship. I'm an introvert so the lack of companionship is not that big a deal for me. For an extrovert to "date" like I did would drive them to the brink of mental explosion. But I just stayed at home and didn't worry much about it.

One reason I didn't worry too much about it was that I heard a sermon where the preacher kept referring to the church as "her." I had an image in my mind of what "she" would look like. I shared it with one really close friend and we often talked about "her." Then the preacher started calling the church "her." The Lord spoke to me through that. He reminded me of a commitment earlier in my life when I submitted to do whatever God wanted me to do. I began to get a clear image that God wanted me to invest my life in "her" - the church. That's when I started seminary and re-submitted to the call to preach. It changed my life.

I had also learned that God is the provider of all things. There is nothing we need that God does not provide. There is nothing we have that did not come from God. So when I felt like I needed a companion - and didn't find it through dating - I realized God was providing himself to be my companion. Those years after the broken relationship became the time when I was drawn closer to the Lord. I walked with him closely. I talked with him constantly. I shared everything with him. I learned so much from him. He was my dearest friend and closest companion. He still is.

So I'm having lunch today at this diner in a small Washington town. I just completed a hike fron the top to the bottom and back to the top of Snoqualmie Falls. I don't hike much. There were moments when I thought this would be my last hike! Then there were moments I prayed this would be my last hike!! "Lord, either take me to the top of this mountain or take me to heaven." He did neither so I had to continue my climb. Little kids and women were running up the hill past me. My hair and shirt were soaked with sweat. My heavy breathing must have sounded alien to those who walked past me. I didn't mind people passing me from behind. It was those who were going down the trail that really bothered me. They could not only hear me but see me labor. Nobody asked if I was OK but I know many thought I was not. On my way down I noticed (that's very kind; I really mean I snickered at) a couple of people struggling to get back to the top. I confess my sin of being judgmental and ask forgiveness.

God has infinite perspective. He knew as I was trudging up the hill that I would make it. That's why he didn't magically transport me to the top or just let my life seep from my nostrils and take me to heaven. "If I was God" is one of my favorite sayings. I don't say it to be sacreligious but to make the point that I am not God; he's so much more godly than I could ever be. But if I was God I would have had a good time watching me toil my way back up the hill. In the beginning a little voice in my head said, "You don't have to go down there. You can see the falls from up here." I rejected that advice and went down the slope.

Going down slopes are not pleasant experiences for me. I suffered a tibial plateau fracture (a broken leg) in 2000 on the slopes of Crested Butte, CO. No matter what you may hear, the training slopes at Crested Butte are anything BUT bunny slopes. Treacherous describes them. Go down them at your own risk!

Even the journey to the bottom of Snoqualmie Falls was a bit unnerving. Even after 5 years I still wonder if my left leg will catch me if I start to fall. Going down a rocky slope terrifies me. So the mental pressure of going down hill combined with the physical pressure of going uphill...

I have a masters degree but sometimes I wonder if I have any sense at all.

So I'm having lunch at this quaint diner in Issaquah, WA, just east of Seattle. I'm sitting so that I can watch the people in the diner. I like to watch people because we are funny creatures. Even you. Just a table away is a young couple. Early twenties. It's after 1pm and they are having breakfast. The menu says you can have breakfast any time of the day. So they are.

I hear only some of their conversation while I read from a Warren Wiersbe book. Every once in a while I look up and survey the room to see if anything interesting is going on. Other than the banter between the wait staff and the regular customers, there is nothing interesting. Even the young couple is acting pretty normal. She's talking and he's listening. They talked a lot about their brothers and sisters. I'm thinking they should be talking about each other and what they like/dislike; what kind of movies and music they enjoy; what they've read recently; blah, blah, blah.

I guess I should have talked more about my sister when I was dating!

So the couple finishes their lunches (breakfasts) and he excuses himself for the little boys' room. She sits there politely (as she has all through the meal) until he is out of sight. Then she picks up the shiny silver napkin dispenser and fixes her hair and makeup. It was all I could do to quickly look away and not laugh out loud!

Ahh, the sport of dating. The Lord blessed me with a wonderful wife. We met about 9 years ago and will celebrate our 9th anniversary in March, 2006. We sparred a little, then dated a couple of times, then got engaged. I don't mind going on a date but the thought of pursuing the object of my affection really disinterests me. I'm glad Deana didn't make me chase her too far or too long.