My average daily word count is likely way below the human average. I don't even know if that is calculable but it sounds deeply contemplative. What I mean is that I probably talk less than most people I'm around each day.
In full disclosure, I must say that Sundays don't count. I'm a preacher and a Sunday School class teacher.
But Monday through Saturday... Well, to be repetitive moves me closer to the other side. The dark side.
Some people run up their word count as if a championship is to be won. Imagine a bracket with two people pitted against each other and the winner advances to play another day. Some days the winner barely gets by with a buzzer beater flurry. Other days highlight a blowout...no contest.
The bracket will grow. That's what brackets do. Am I right, NCAA Football?
And the bracket grows larger over time because lucrative financial benefit looms large. Apparently irresistible. Am I right, NCAA Men's Basketball?
So I'm out at Round 1. Unless it's Sunday.
Some people run up their word count by talking nonstop. Deana and I work together and take one vehicle to work each day rather than two. I'm pretty sure that when I mentioned Deana in this context that you immediately thought I was going to give my basis for choosing her to win the bracket.
But this is not about Deana. Sometimes she can be quiet. Very quiet. That's usually when I feel the need to talk...to defend myself. (**crickets** from the other side of the room.)
On our drive home the other day I began talking about my day - which was rich with things to talk about. Excuse me, you should not end a sentence with a preposition. My day was rich with things about which to talk.
Do grammatical corrections count toward the overall word count?
The drive from work to home - and, similarly but not oddly, from home to work - is about 30 miles and 35 minutes. I've noticed several lawbreaking citizens who make the trip a bit quicker. Very few drivers respect law to the point of taking a longer period of time to make the drive.
In the past, I drove with the lawbreakers. Is it necessary to say, "In the past" if I use the past tense verse "drove"? There is no possibility to use the past tense verb to refer to any other time. That's why language has verb tenses. So people will run up their word count by saying things like, "In the past, I drove with the lawbreakers."
"I drove with the lawbreakers" and "I have driven with lawbreakers" and "I drive with the lawbreakers" and "I will drive with the lawbreakers" and "I will have driven with the lawbreakers" each give us a timeframe through which to consider when I might speed. Or might have sped. Or will speed in the future.
Was it necessary to say, "in the future"?
Actually, was it necessary to start this post with this sentence: "My average daily word count is likely way below the human average"? Humans are the only beings that use words so I could have, should have, simply said, "My average daily word count is likely way below the average."
Do you see how people can run up their word counts in subtle ways? Or in ways of grammatical error?
Or from lack of understanding? Here's what I mean. VIN number. ATM machine. PIN number. 8:00 A.M. in the morning.
My friend (he's actually my hero because he and his wife foster and adopt!) recently shared that he told his son it was time to go to bed. After a bit of debate, the boy headed to his room. A couple of hours later my friend checked in on the boy. He found the kid sitting in bed watching TV. The debate that followed ended with the child explaining to the father that he was, in fact, in bed. The boy did exactly what the father said to do.
That reminded me of my first day in seminary. The professor introduced himself then asked each student to introduce themselves. When I said what town I was from he interrupted and asked where that town is. I said, "About an hour and a half from here toward [a larger town further away]."
"Where is that?" the professor said. I gave a direction. I probably even pointed in the direction.
The professor kept asking for clarity. Everyone in the class was snickering. I was the only newbie and the other students had seen this happen before. (Sorry. When else would that have seen this happen!)
At the end of a very discouraging and embarrassing episode, he said, "You need to tighten up your language." I've come to consider this episode one of the most hilarious things that I have experienced. And the advice is something I've handed out to others (who else would I have handed it out to...I mean, to whom else would I have handed this advice?) with glee. My glee, not theirs.
Advice is that way. The giver often does so gleefully. The receiver might not experience such glee.
So I reminded my friend - who was in that seminary class - that he should tighten up his language. My friend, by the way, excels at reminding people not to end a sentence with a preposition.
Another seminary professor (perhaps my favorite of all the profs I had) spent a large amount of time on the topic of word economy. My favorite lesson relates to listing or making points. If something is "First of all," it's first. Tighten up your language.
One time I was talking with a friend about the time I smashed my fingers between the sections of the garage door. How likely is it that I would talk with a friend about this more than once. "One time" was totally an aggressive word count ploy. But when I mentioned the garage door I said (using hand gestures), "You know how it goes up and down..." She interrupted, "Thank you, Bob, for describing how a garage door works."
So on the drive home from work the other day, I used up a couple of weeks worth of words.
My favorite version of the Christmas story in the Gospels is found in John 1:14. "The word became flesh and made his dwelling among us."
As you can tell, I appreciate economical word count.
