Differing Expectations

My surgeon and I have differing expectations. I called today to see if the biopsy results were in. He indicated Friday that he was sure it was sarcoid, not cancer. He said I should call Monday. So I did.

I spoke with the receptionist/secretary. She called the surgeon, read the test results to him, relayed his message to me. "It is not cancer." Great news.

My next question was, "What about sarcoid." She didn't know. She can't decipher the test results - I don't expect her to be able to do that - and the surgeon said to just tell me it's not cancer.

I was/am prepared for cancer. I trust God's will and if it's his will that I have cancer then that's OK. I just want to find out what he wants to teach me through this whether it is cancer or sarcoid. And I'm ready to move on with treatment. I've been dealing with a nagging cough for a few years and it is probably the result of the enlarged lymph nodes. I'm glad we found them. But if it's cancer, let's treat it. If it's sarcoid, let's treat it.

"Just tell him it's not cancer" is not what I wanted to hear. The receptionist/secretary couldn't believe I had the nerve to ask when we would know about sarcoid. She actually said, "I just gave you the best news."

That's a matter of perspective. For me, cancer or sarcoid means this: I have a disease of some kind that must be treated and God will see me through it and show himself gloriously in it. (I do realize the gravity of cancer. I also trust God's will.)

"It's not cancer" is great news but not the best news. I now know one thing God is teaching me through all this: patience. I'm still waiting. It's still 10 days before the surgeon releases me (back to the pulmonologist, I guess).

The surgeon and pulmonologist both come highly recommended but I'd rather sit in Scott's office (my primary care physician and friend) and pray about this. I spoke with the surgeon for less than 30 minutes. I spoke with the pulmonologist even less. That's how the system works. Scott talks to God with me.

What lies around the corner in my life must be something for God to build my patience like he is.