Dry

I don't know if it's me or if it's them. I try to give them messages that will make a difference but it doesn't seem to be making a difference. I joke about being middle aged but I'm really not there yet. But a characteristic of middle-age is the quest for significance. The question "Am I making a diffference?" is prominent.

That's me. Or is it them? This is frustrating. More than that, it's distracting. I should be casting a vision, inspiring excellence, motivating the masses. Is it me? Am I unable to cast or inspire or motivate? Or is it them? Are they immune to vision, excellence, and movement.

Are other pastor's telling the truth? Are their churches growing, going, and doing? Am I making too much of this? The emotional drain is intense. Maybe I have too much to do. Maybe I'm expecting too much. Maybe I'm ineffective.

I can't think of one person who is excited about being there.

I'm dry. Lord, rain down on me. Flood me with your Spirit. Refresh me. Revive me.