Seven Minutes

Do you know what a "noisy toothbrush" is? It's the battery-operated toothbrush that people of all ages can buy at Wal-Mart or most other retail outlets. Are we a lazy people or what? Has moving our arms ever so slightly become grueling? Can we not stand to operate a manual toothbrush two or three times a day?

So we bought "noisy toothbrushes" tonight. Not me. Just my wife and little boy. His is shaped like a Hot Wheels car. Maybe he'll like brushing his teeth now. He's almost five and not too interested in tooth and gum health.

The dentist suggested Deana get one. I guess that's a good idea; I really don't want all her teeth falling out. Although I would love her just the same. I just might not kiss her as much. We'd probably eat lots more mashed potatoes.

I don't remember the source but I do remember reading an article suggesting a person should brush their teeth for at least seven minutes. That's a long time. Gather four of the world's best half-milers and they could run a 2-mile relay in less time. I can shave and shower in about seven minutes when I wake up late or hit the snooze button too many times. Nothing cooked in the microwave takes seven minutes!

High school boys can eat all the food on their lunchroom tray and what they can swipe from someone else's in less than seven minutes. I knew Deana was the one for me in about seven minutes.

You can drive 8 1/6 miles down I-40 at 70 mph in seven minutes. You could cook seven batches of minute rice in seven minutes, couldn't you? I've preached sermons just barely longer than seven minutes.

Try praying for seven minutes! I participated (and later led) in a Bible study called MasterLife. Part of the course was to pray for an hour. Wow! After seven minutes you're looking around the room praying for things you see in the pictures on the walls. You begin to pray that God would impress upon your mind something to pray about. I think I have figured out the answer to one of the great theological questions of all time. How long is eternity? Seven minutes.

Do you know why weddings are so long? It's not the preacher. All the preacher really needs to say takes about seven minutes! It's all the other stuff that drags it out. Six bridesmaids parading slowly down the aisle. A mama trying to convince the flower girl to come all the way to the front without crying. Three solos that may or may not be a close rendition to the original.

So I tried brushing my teeth for seven minutes. I rubbed a hole in my lower gums. Won't do that again.